allforhisgreaterglory

My sanity is brought into question yet again as I near my upcoming junior year. Don’t get me wrong - I’m very excited to face the opportunities and challenges that lie ahead with God at my side. However, I know that next year will be loaded with hundreds of expectations and I am confused as to how I should respond.

The same questions seem to lurk at the back of my mind, waiting to reveal themselves to me at the opportune moment. Will I still be able to juggle the stressful classes I’ve been taking for most of my life? What impact do I want to make in someone’s life now that I am a student leader? How will I accept the challenges that come with being a new upperclassman?

Today, as I took the time to step back and take these things to prayer in Adoration, a deep sense of His presence overwhelmed me. And it was only then that I understood what God was trying to tell me all along whenever I’d feel weighed down by all these pressing expectations.

To be honest, if I were faced with these same questions about a year ago, I would have probably broken down, unsure of what I should do next. But things are different now. I am not the person I was before (why this is oddly starting to sound like a melodramatic soap opera, I really do not know). In devoting more time to prayer, and through reflecting upon how the saints found their strength in times of trouble, I am starting to find joy and fulfillment in surrendering myself to the most holy will of God.

Upon further reflection, I am also starting to realize that those expectations can only weigh me down, because they lead me away from living in the present moment and wanting to do His will because the questions gravitate towards me, and not Him. In reality, the only expectation I should have for myself is that I become the person God intended me to be. It is through knowing these things that I realize that God truly makes my reality greater than my expectations if only I let Him.

So why should I worry about if I will be able to handle all those honors classes, or take up the initiative to start a youth ministry in my school, or maintain my relationships in the process? As long as I am doing God’s will, and I know that He is with me, then I can do anything through His love and strength.