Goodbyes (Written July 20)

I absolutely hate saying goodbyes. Seriously. I’d rather stub my toe than say goodbye.

..I know.

That’s how strongly I feel about this.

Add in the fact that I just had to say a bunch of them today, and am about to say more of them within the next two weeks, and you’ve got a very unhappy Joseph right now.

In all honesty, I don’t think I have the faith to believe that any amount of hands shaken, hugs shared, or tears shed, can ever take the place of that inexpressible moment when you look into a stranger’s eyes, smile, say hello, and somehow get the feeling that, even if just for that moment, a new friendship could take root and develop.

Admittedly, these are the kinds of moments I’d love to live for.

At the same time, I realize that I am also an anomalies of anomalies when it comes to saying my hello’s and goodbye’s, because I’m always hesitant to embrace new beginnings and experiences - but when I actually do, I don’t want to let them go.

I guess you could say that I’m just hopelessly in love with stability. Normalcy. Security.

And I’m unbelievably weighed down by my fear of everything but: instability. Irregularity. Insecurity.

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