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to my future bride // 24 days til graduation
Hey.
I know it’s been a while since I’ve written you. But I promise you that you’ve continually been on my mind.
Because each time I look up at the stars, I can’t help but smile at the possibility that we could be gazing at the same one.
Each time I find myself out of place in this world with nowhere to go, I think of how I will come to find home in your arms.
Each time I count the days that pass me by without really knowing who you are, where you are, or when I’ll even find you - I think of how days, months, years, and decades can’t ever possibly compare to spending an eternity with you.
Each time a part of me wants to settle, I envision how lovely it would be to just hear your voice, your laugh; to feel your smile on my lips; the warmth of your embrace; and your eyes - I swear I could stare at them forever and drown in your love. Completely. Totally. Helplessly.
Tearing down my walls and just giving you everything. My insecurity. My weakness. My fragility.
Breaking down when I see the grandeur of God’s mercy manifested in you, my bride to be. Undeserving of your beauty. Your kiss. Your heart.
And I know that it feels like I’ve probably said all these things before, but I just can’t say them enough. I want you to know how much you mean to me, even now.
And I know it must sound crazy to you that one day you’ll fall in love with a complete weirdo who likes to ramble on about a girl he’s never even met. But it is. I am crazy. Crazy over the fact that you even exist somewhere. Crazy over you. And I’ll continue to be as long as you’re in my mind.
Even beyond these last few weeks of high school. Even beyond the next four years at Berkeley. Even beyond my future plans, dreams, and endeavors. I promise to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
I promise to wait for you.
For reference in my ever increasing FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR future.
Hahahaha first off, props for fitting this all into the 500 character ask limit. :P
Well I’ve definitely had a similar experience to yours seeing an attractive, holy looking girl pop in and out of daily Mass every now and then in my parish LOL and I kinda understand that sense of wanting to get to know her more and be friends with her.
She’s been a distraction for me as well and I guess though it’s a wonderful gift from God that we can appreciate His creation, it’s easy to fall into the traps of infatuation and the tendency to make people out to be much more than what they are. Like, you begin the paint a picture of this stranger based on what you can externally see and suddenly your mind takes over the whole canvas and you begin to paint a picture of this person with the brush of your internalized expectations and hopes and ideas of perfection.. When really, until you actually get to talk to the person and get to know them, you won’t even know if these things are true.
Take my unhealthy obsession with Emma Watson for example. I might claim that she’s the most magical girl I’ve ever seen before in my life because she’s cast a spell on me but if I’m just basing this on her character from the Harry Potter movies or from what I’ve read about her without really actually personally getting to know her then I’m really not in the position to say she’s literally the most perfect girl in the world for me.
And like, even though that girl I see at daily Mass looks like she’d be “the one for me” in my mind just because her hair falls down the right way, her smile is enough to light up the whole church, or her reverence when receiving the Eucharist is just asdfghjkl; (I’ll stop now), it would be unfair to her and to me if I began to dwell on this unrealistic and incomplete image I have of her instead of resolve to actually get to know her more; talk to her, invite her for coffee etc…..
In this case then, we’d be dealing with a whole ‘nother thing. At least, I think I can speak for most young men when I say that most of the time, our inability or hesitation to ask girls out or get to know them more has to do with either pride or fear.
Either the pride that we don’t want to put ourselves out there and be subject to scrutiny or admit that wooing a girl involves some sense of humility, service, and chivalry; or the fear that we’ll be rejected, let down, too uninteresting, boring, or unable to keep up a relationship.
Idk. Just the way I see it though.
I wish I could say more about this, but I obviously can’t speak for what goes on in a girl’s mind, and, quoting the words of Chad Dansworth from High School Musical: I don’t attempt to understand the female mind… It’s foreign territory.
Hope this helps though! I know I kinda beat around the bush for this question A LOT but just in summary, be wary of infatuation/unrealistic expectations, either see this distraction as a way of God trying to tell you something and move you to action (talk to the guy, wait for him to talk to you BUT I DO NOT SUGGEST THIS OMG NICE CATHOLIC GUYS MAKING THE FIRST MOVE LOL SO OUTRAGEOUS I CAN’T EVEN) or try to get rid of the distraction altogether - like, I don’t know. Switch parishes LOL.
Because if you just let the distraction be means for nothing more than wishful thinking and daydreaming and staring and whatnot, then……. You’re not really doing God’s will either way.
Good luck and God bless!
tmfb. // 1.23.13
To my future bride,
I can imagine it already.
I can imagine the light of your smile overcoming my darkness.
I can imagine the gaze of your eyes into mine.
I can imagine the touch of your skin, the smell of your hair.
I can imagine your fingers interlocked into mine, the sound of your laugh.
I can imagine the warmth of your embrace, your head on my shoulder.
With your lips on mine, drive me to madness, move me to tears, rid me of this senseless imagination, because I know that you should be even more valuable than just a girl of my dreams - for all I know, you probably already transcend anything I could ever hope for in a bride and more.
Love,
Joseph
tmfb. // 1.19.13
To my future bride,
The world says that nice guys finish last, but I say that they’re wrong.
For starters, what are nice guys finishing last for in the first place? Is there some sort of race to acquire the most women that I’m unaware of? Is a man’s motivation to be “nice” to others, especially to girls, meant to be entirely based upon his ability to finish “first” in winning a girl’s affections? Because I mean, it’s not like the sole purpose of man’s existence is supposed to involve being with women for the sake of being with women.
Otherwise, maybe Joseph Smith actually might have been on to something with that whole polygamy thing.But you know what, my dear?
Maybe I don’t care about being “first.” And maybe it’s a good thing I’m finishing last.
For if by finishing last, I’m able to be with you, then who’s to say I never gained anything in the first place? (pun was definitely unintended)
tmfb. // 1.12.13
To my future bride,
I wonder if you’re a football kinda gal or not.
Because if you’re not, I just wanted to assure you that I won’t be the kind of guy who’ll shut you off once Monday Night Football’s on - even if my Niners are playing.
I promise.
Take the remote control for all I care. Block the TV. Cover my eyes.
All I ask is that you give me the warmth of your arms wrapped around me. The sound of your laugh in my ear. Your smile.
Grant me the joy of knowing you, simply by being. Grant me the joy of knowing the love of God, through the love we will come to share with each other.
