allforhisgreaterglory

Find a girl. Get creative. Ask. If rejected, go back to square one or give up and cry in a corner. Figure out colors. Get a tux fitted. Rent it out. Order the corsage. Pay for the limo. Go back to the tux store. Check to see if the tux actually fits. Resize it if it doesn’t.

Who knew that going to prom (or just a high school dance in general, really) would involve so much preparation?

Because I certainly never expected any of this (or maybe I did subconsciously.. But I guess I’m still in denial of how broke I’ll be after prom.)

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Out of all the things I’m insecure about, I think that the one thing I really struggle with in my life is the fact that I’m a pretty reserved introvert.

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amdglnt:

To my future bride,

I think that now would be a good time to tell you that I’m much weaker than I’ve probably revealed to you thus far.

I’ve written you time and time again about how willing I am to wait for you, when in reality, I’m growing impatient. A part of me wants to settle. I want to know what it’s like to stupidly smile at a cellphone screen because of a text message. I want to know what it’s like to hold hands with a girl and do cheesy things with her just to make her laugh. I want to know what it’s like to have nothing more than the thought of a girl in my mind, and though initially when I started writing these letters to you, you were the girl that came to my mind, I’m starting to get frustrated with trying to concretely visualize you in these images and I’m starting to feel incredibly deprived of what it feels like to be in a relationship.

But isn’t that so selfish of me? For forgoing the pursuit of you just so I can use somebody else to fulfill these empty desires?

Relationships should not be an end in themselves, but a means for something greater.

Why, then, am I finding it hard to wait for this something greater? Why am I finding it hard to wait for you?

Am I finding it hard to trust that God has prepared somebody special and beautiful and precious and funny and awkward and loving for me?

Or am I just stupid for pursuing a feeling, an emotion, an act itself, rather than a person? Rather than you?

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Hey Lil Wayne, remember that one time in 2011 when you apologized to the women of the world on behalf of all the G’s, playa’s, and gangsta’s, for never showing them how to love? Remember that one time you wrote a song about a girl who couldn’t have a man staring at her for five seconds without her feeling insecure?

Fast forward to 2013 and what do we have now, Wayne?

Back to your “down b*tch calling” ways?

Niceeee.

Loving the duplicity, dude.

Did you figure out once again that nice guy images in the hip hop industry don’t really sell and that the degradation and objectification of women in today’s culture does?

Nice, bro. Money over mind and matter? Guess that’s the way the world works now.

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Looking back at the last few weeks stressing out over which college to choose, I can honestly say that

this

was

ne

ver

the way

I planned.

Not……

My intention.

 

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amdglnt:

I used to hold a certain kind of cynicism against youth groups and praise rallies.

Coming back home from a Confirmation retreat back in ‘09 with the spiritual high of my life, I remember having this idea that “this” was what “faith” was all about - that it was based on a feeling; a feeling that, at the time, I thought could only be experienced within the context of 50 or so high school students like myself, crying their eyes out while singing a praise and worship song, or listening to the testimony of a brother or sister in Christ.

At the time, it never crossed my mind that I, like many others, was getting it all wrong - because true faith obviously shouldn’t be based on a feeling.. Otherwise I’d propose that we’d probably have more non-believers in the world out there.

It was in this strange phase of my life that I probably could have found myself identifying with that one dude on YouTube who thought there was a contradiction between a relationship and religion; between Christ and Church.

And it was in this process of trying to figure the whole spirituality thing out, that I slowly found myself forgetting that the source and summit of the truly Christian life should be the Eucharist.

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